The Old Chisholm Trail

Hello world! I am BACK. My disappearance was due to equal parts LAZINESS and fact that my tragic life was no longer a boondoggle.

I believe my last entry was written sometime in the fall of 2009. Well amigos, MUCH has happened since then. Here's a quick recap of what I have been up to since then (in chronological order):

1. Suffered mouse invasion in my Dutch shipping container apartment, which was the LAST STRAW which set off a dramatic chain of events, involving hot, salty tears, temper tantrums, lots of steel wool, hysterical abandonment of bicycle near a random Bagels and Beans, and swift departure to London.

2. Contracted life-threatening pneumonia. Unwittingly exacerbated said pneumonia by wandering around Ithaca in the middle of winter dressed like a Californian sorority girl (with nasty chain-smoking habit, to boot).

3. Miraculously passed securities regulation, allowing me to GRADUATE from law school. ::applause::

4. Survived the bar exam. I can't even go into detail about this as it will suck me back into vortex of sadness, hysteria, beastliness, paranoia, anxiety, etc. etc. The point is, by the sheer grace of God, I passed.

5. Moved to NYC. ::raises the roof::

6. Started work. ::slumps back down::

7. Became a pretend-real person. ::slumps lower::

8. Became a laww-yuhhh.

OH YEAH, and I attempted to be a vegetarian for about 9 months. But it all fell apart once I went to London this past January and was TORTURED by my good friends into eating steak and guinness pie. ::drool::

Okay. It is a Friday evening. I think I've pretended to be busy for long enough and now I go home to celebrate weekend!

Fear not, I will try to appear more frequently.